It’s the month of March and the winter funkies officially set in for me about two weeks ago. It started when I began to feel extremely tired, despite eating well and getting plenty of sleep. And my mood, usually somewhat upbeat, started to drag me down. And then my kids got sick, and my husband was busy with work, and I just had to carry on, cook the dinners, make the lunches, hit my to do list, and on, an on.
I am someone who really notices when I am out of whack, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. My old habit is to look at what I need to do, to change, to get back to alignment. More yoga? Longer meditation? Less wine? More water? I want to fix myself, and get back to feeling more at ease in my skin. What this often translates in mind that is I need to be good, to do the right thing. The pressure builds and I end up feeling squeezed tight and stretched in all directions, all at once.
Last Wednesday morning, I tried a different approach (you guessed it, the other options weren’t working, and it was going on two weeks). Instead of trying to figure out what to do, I got curious about the source. “What’s under this spinning?” I asked my journal. And I sat with that. Something shifted, a little. And that morning I took a yoga class. Something in me said “go in that room before you go to the office.” As we wound down practice with a supine passive side stretch, the one where you move one leg and then the other over, and repeat, what lay beneath welled up, and tears started to stream down the side of my face, the way they do when you are lying on your back. Now these weren’t tears of sadness, or grief, or even tied to anything in particular. They were just the release of compression. I had finally become willing to allow what lay beneath to come to the surface.
After a few satisfying minutes of sobbing in an empty office, I returned to myself, to space, to openness, like I’d been cleansed by tears.
May you find your own way through the end of winter. To help you out, Melina has posted Late Winter Ayurvedic Tips on the Blog Post before this one.
And it’s Daylight Savings Time again. Don’t forget to set your clocks forward (spring ahead) one hour on March 13 (the birthday I share with 8 Limbs Managing Director Ashley Dahl, incidentally). Happy almost Spring!
Posted by: Anne Phyfe Palmer